Million Dollar Idea #267

*lady with potato rake not included*

This is such a great idea, I had to get it down in writing in a public place, so when someone steals it, I can sue them for their millions of dollars.

So I was just talking on the phone with my pal Lufty, who was celebrating his new job (congrats again, sir), and was a little....um.....tipsy.  And that's understandable.  I was a little tipsy myself last night, celebrating my first paycheck at a new job.  It happens.  I guess we're both very employment oriented or something, and if that kinda of gusto means if we have to show up at the places of said employment a bit hungover, it's simply a sign of our dedication to work.  But all of this is neither here nor there.


After the few minutes of him trying to remember how to use the phone, and me trying to figure out if my own phone wasn't working, we started discussion the new job, and then that led to other lines of conversation, and  it all became quite the rambling mess, which was super-entertaining. involving potato rakes, Mayan calendars,  vacations and the like.  But as with all rambling super-entertaining conversations, there arrived the inevitable lull.

And avoiding all conversational standards, Lufty forewent forgoed skipped over the usual topics of weather and family health, and for whatever reason brought up Books on Tape.  Apparently he's got quite the collection.  I explained that I've never gotten into Books on Tape, because the only time I think I could listen to a book on tape is when I'm doing something else, and when that's happening, I can't pay attention.  My mind wanders (not towards the task I'm doing, but to weird tangents that you don't really need to know about, but usually do because they often end up as blog posts).  Because of this, I have to keep rewinding to see what I missed, and frankly, it drives me crazy.  The 6 hours it'd take a normal person to hear that book somehow becomes 40 or 50 hours for me.  It's pointless.

And that's when I had my idea:

In a world where just this week we saw both Satan in the Gulf oil spill AND Touchdown Jesus struck down by the heavens, it's now abundantly clear that we are all not long for this world.  And even if we are, we have to realize that our time is precious.  With that in mind, who has the time for books on tape?  Therefore I present to you:

Movies on Tape: For the people who would like Books on Tape, but don't have the time.

Here's the format.  I put in a movie, and I narrate it real-time into an audio file.  It's only as long as the running time of the film, and you can kinda still hear the dialog in the background.

I think it's great.  And I even have the idea for the advertising campaign:

*money in the bank, amirite?*

So, laughing, I convey this new business model to Lufty.  He seems non-plussed.  Or maybe he didn't get it.  Or maybe (and most likely) he stopped listening to me half-way through.  Then, in his at least partially inebriated state, he said something about movies in 3D.

And the solution was obvious!  I record two almost (but not quite) identical narration tracks, and put one on the left channel and the other on the right!  Problem solved!

Once I get the MPAA to sign off on this, I'm going to be knee deep in bacon and potato rakes and subsequent tetanus shots.