Fun With the Yellow Pages

Let's say you found yourself in a situation where you desperately needed 10 gallons of hot sauce (I'd recommend Sriracha, it's great) AND you needed a propane stove to cook on?  Why go two places when you can go to just one? Just call Scoshi World!

Rumor has it they also deal in septic supplies..... talk about covering all the bases!

The Finer Points of Buckets

So my bucket collecting days are all pau (Hawaiian Word of the Day: pau [pow] - finished, done, complete), and that's good and bad.  At the end, I was collecting  at least 50 five-gallon buckets full of green waste a week.  On the upside, it made my arms really strong.  But with the large amount of compost we now have on hand, and with the rainy season quickly approaching (making dry compost piles a figment of everyone's imagination), it was decided to put compost creation and therefore bucket collection on hold indefinitely. Chances are we'll be back at it in the spring.

Still, you know it's time to stop when you start getting buckets like this one:

Trouble in Paradise

The unthinkable of unthinkables has occurred.

My hammock started to rip.

I know what you all are thinking, and the answer is "Yes, it is serious!"  I've found that I've come to depend on my hammock as a place of refuge and comfort at all times (except when it's really windy or rainy or the mosquitoes are really bad).

But there is good news.  

There's a name we've given for the living arrangements I have (tarps and corrugated metal roofing as bathroom walls, urinate on whatever trees look like they need it, plywood floors with garage paint on them, and yet hot water on demand, a fully functioning recording studio, and internet), and the term is "farm chic."

Therefore in true farm chic fashion, I've fixed my hammock.

The Four Subaru Outbacks of the Apocalypse

This car (or its owner) believes I'm the Antichrist.

(post time: 2 minutes...thus the uncropped photo)

Because 10 Minutes Isn't Enough....

And 15 minutes is more than you're legally allowed.

Son of Jor-El...

Imagine I photoshopped a potato rake in there somewhere

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!

Like everyone from Krypton, our farm is now powered by the Earth's yellow sun.  Our improvements were extensive and very effective.  We swapped out four low wattage panels for twelve high watt ones, added a charge controller, a DC monitoring system, rewired the power shed, added  door to the battery room, and generally made everything better.

Before we were getting a max of 2.5 KWh out of our solar, and now we're at 6 KWh on really cloudy days, and up to 20 KWh on sunny days in the summer.  Life is good.  We can now use electric fridges, power up the studio w/out running the generator, and I'm going to invest in a nice surround sound system after Christmas.

I was planning a long detailed blog about this, but there's no way I could do that in 7 minutes.....plus it'd be boring.

Strangely enough, we were doing all of this work at the same time that Des blogged about her publicity she and her mom were getting about their system.  I really wanted to blog about it then, but we didn't have all of the components yet.

Also strange in the timing, Hawtness.com posted this photo, that basically represents exactly what our farm and system look like now:

I swear I didn't photoshop that at all

The Return of the Blog

You may not be getting anything, but it's free! What do you expect?

I took that photo at my local Walmart a while back.  

Anyway, I'm back!  (I thought about making my triumphant return a three part series called "Fellowship of the Blog", "The Two Bloggers", and "Return of the Blog" but the idea of photoshopping myself into a hobbit seemed too daunting.)  The real reason I'm back is that after having several people ask me "What's up with the blog?" and after responding several times "mwhydunno.....", I've decided it's time to get off of my kiester and start blogging again.

The reasons for my hiatus are valid and varied, or at least they were at first.  I was really busy working at the school, and then pineapple season kicked in, and then I moved to LA and met this hooker named - no kidding - "Obi-Wan $10". (Any or all of the previous sentence may be fictional.)

Anyway, once all of my running around subsided, I realized that I was still pretty busy.  And all of the stuff I was busy with was pretty boring (read: you wouldn't want to read it).

"But how is that any different from anything else you've put up here Cameron?" I can hear you all saying in unison.  To which I must respond, "Touché salesman."

Therefore I will now regale you with all that I thought about writing about but didn't.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), Regan called me out on his blog, saying that it only took him seven minutes to write a new blog post.  I take twice that just running through title options and three times that photoshopping potato rakes all over the place.  But I've taken it as a challenge, and I'll try to complete the next series of posts in 7 minutes or less.

Enjoy (or not).

It's all such a bargain

Me vs. Common Sense

yep.

I have once again proven myself an idiot.

Let me preface this by saying that Hilo, by and large, is a pleasant, nice, safe town.  That said, it's still a city and cities have inherent dangers: crazy drivers, impatient people, and a significantly higher chance of Godzilla attack than most small towns and rural areas.

just last week

Supercalifragalisticexpiala-update

Just a potato rake of sugar.....something something

Sorry everyone.  Been super busy.  And when I'm not busy, I've been sleeping.

But since I've got an evening here without any deadlines for tomorrow, I've decided to fill you in on all of the happenings going on, and why I'm so busy all of the sudden.

The Dangers of Routine

Sounds about right....

Sorry I haven't been writing much lately.  Honestly, things have settled into a very predictable pattern, and therefore nothing has been striking me as sufficently "blog-worthy" enough to merit posting.  MWF = Work on the farm in the morning (or not) and then work at the school in the afternoon and pick up buckets in the evening. TR = work on the farm (or not) Sat = Market in Waimea from 5am to ±2pm, with beach afterwards (or not).  Sun = Work on the farm (or not).  With the time left in the evenings after dinner, I've been reading a lot.  Not quite to the point that I read with every free minute of the day (and spend each moment in the shower trying to figure out how I can read in the shower as well), although I've been there before, but with a kind of feeling that there's nothing I'd prefer to be doing in the evenings than settle in with a book (and possibly a beer) until I fall asleep.  I've been on quite the kick lately with the non-fiction books, which is kind of atypical for me.  I like to get swept up in a story and usually the stranger and less predictable it is, the more I like it.  But having read Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything and Mary Roach's Spook, I've  learned that I can find enjoyment in non-fiction as well.  This of course make plenty of sense, and I'm a bit ashamed that I hadn't realized it earlier, since what I write here on the Cameronomicon is also essentially non-fiction, and I enjoy reading it almost as much as I enjoy writing it.  So then I read Stephen King's On Writing which I believe is pretty good if you're a Stephen King fan or an aspiring writer, and amazingly good if you happen to be both.   In fact, at this point of this post, I can hear Mr. King asking me, "But what does any of this have to do with the story?" to which my only response would be "Nothing.  Nothing at all."  So I suppose I should start getting to the point.

As I was saying before, things have gotten quite routine around here lately, and there hasn't been much of all to write about.  Yesterday I learned that settling into a routine can on occasion create certain very blog-worthy adventures, and that most of those are based on anecdotes of serious bodily injury.

Another Day

Like sands through the something something.....

For those of you who may not have noticed that the sun rose and then set recently, we have ridden this merry-go-round we call the Earth for another full axial rotation.

I've learned through stat tracking and comment volume that my more thoughtful and introspective posts are, as they say in the parlance of our times, a "buzz-kill."  Therefore I'm forced to revert back to the anecdotal format that everyone loves so much.  As Harry Flugelman of Goldsmith pictures so wisely said, "We strayed from the formula.  We paid the price."

Ups and Downs: Trying to Look at the Brighter Side of Things

Today was a weird day.  Not bad, but not good.  Just weird.  It could have been bad, but I didn't let it be.  Thus it was weird.

I used to know someone once upon a time in a previous life who was astoundingly good at seeing the brighter side of things.  One could say "Ugh...it's raining again," and the reply would be "Think of how great this is for the lawn," or "Walks in the rain are romantic," or "Quick! Get the Slip-N-Slide!"  You could say "I just broke my arm," and you'd hear in return "Nice! Finally you've got a good excuse for your terrible penmanship!" or "Hey, at least it wasn't both arms," or "I've got the perfect picture for your cast."  If you happened to mention that you lost your prize-winning pet iguana to an Elvis impersonator in a high-stakes poker game while trapped by a blizzard in a mountain cabin with no hope of rescue, invariably the retort would be, "WOW!  Who else in the world could say that?  You lead such an amazing life!"  In fact, I'd bet that if you crashed your plane into the desert, and everyone you loved perished, all of the food and water was lost in the flames, and you're 1000 miles from anywhere and no one even knows you're missing, you've got broken legs, internal bleeding, a terrible hangnail and even more terrible intestinal gas, and you knew that even if you were rescued, you'd be ruined because you'd wagered your life savings and reputation on a successful flight, AND you couldn't solve the crossword puzzle that day, if all of that happened I'm sure that all you'd get would be "Quit your complaining....I bet the sunset is amazing here....."

Secret Lives of Silent Suffering (and Sarcasm)

Hi folks!
Nothing interesting or exciting to report about lately, but so the blog doesn't slip away unnoticed (as it has in the past), I'm posting anyway.  Actually, one nice thing happened this weekend, but you can read about that here.

Beyond that, be sure to check out this little internet treasure I happened upon this morning.  In a medium (the internet) where so much is dependent on verbal communication, this guy here (Avery Ellis) is absolutely hilarious, all without saying a word.  I've never worked in a music store, and in fact the thought has never really crossed my mind.  But I have worked retail, and anyone who has ever worked retail has had similar moments, but none of us were fortunate enough to capture them with video, and none of us work in a music store where crazy customer behavior is elevated to unprecedented levels vis-a-vis frequency, audio volume, and ego.  This clip is my favorite:

The More the Merrier

Even back then I was so photogenic....

Yet another person has joined the Cameronomishpere!  In case you're wondering, that's her in the photo wearing my coat.  I swear, more women wore that coat that fall than I think I ever did in my my whole life.  For the record that photo was taken just a little over forever ago, as you can tell by the fact I still wasn't big enough for my shirt.  

Guinness Book of World Records

I don't want Fop, I want Dapper Dan!!!  I'm a Dapper Dan man!

T'was a record-setting day today.  Not anything that would actually be noticed by Guinness, but I am drinking a Guinness at the moment.  And while they're not world records, they are personal records for me, and I live in the world, and so...you know....  And as far as the book goes, well, yeah.  That's a lie.

Anyway, let's get to it!

The Cameronomicon (Audio Equivalent)

And yet, Paul likes it

Oh yeah.   Just found this.  Too great to not share.  Originally found it at failblog.org.  I remember when I was making theme music for the site, and now I see I was off.

WAY off.

Good Noise, Everyone!

Paul seems to approve....

As there's nothing interesting and/or exciting going on around here, I've got to dig into the kinda interesting bits that have happened in the recent past.

Yep, That's How I Roll

Yep.

Well, it was only a matter of time.

This ad is totally about me.

The M@ Abides

Dig the classic Olan Mills backdrop!

Ok all of you Cameronomicabalists out there, it's time for more blog pimpage!  Brought to you direct by The Great Magnet itself, the latest addition to what I like to think of as the Cameronoshpere: TheM@ Abides, the new blog started by our good friend TheMatt.  He's recently dropped everything but his cat and headed off to live in Seattle, and he's being kind enough to share the adventures with us.  Thus far they've been very entertaining.  So go check it out, follow if you like, and check back often.  Granted, it may be different that what you're used to here on the Cameronomicon, what with the complete and total lack of potato rake references, but I'm sure you're all kind and wise enough to see past that and enjoy TheM@ Abides upon its own merits.  You may also notice that I've added this blog to my "Blogs of Interest" in the sidebar on the right.  This'll let you know when he's added a new post.

Graçias, Cameronmigos.

That is all.

2nd Place

Way cooler than the ones I used to get on Field Day

(5)
Here it is, a cool yet non-rainy evening (yes!), I've got a beer nearby (Yes!) and I'm lounging in my hammock on the back porch (YES!!!)  The dogs are quietly keeping me company out here, which is nice.  I can tell that Lucy is really wanting to bark at something (she's in that "ready to bark" stance that she's got) but can find nothing to bark at, so she's staring intently at the garden in hopes that the stray black cat that has taken up residence there will show itself and provide a reasonable source of agitation and excitement.  Dagny has her front paws hanging off of the porch, is staring contently towards the lava floes to the south, and is quietly wondering if I'm going to feed her anytime soon (which I am).  In short, things are great.  Or at least would be, if it weren't for all of the blood.
*cue ominous music aaaaand cut to commercial!*

Captain Random

*first Google image result for "Captain Random*

*fifth Google image result for the same search terms*

As I have nothing interesting to talk about, here are a few items that are good, but not substantial enough to make a whole blog post:

Two Reasons to Love This Town (as a guy)

They're in there somewhere.....

Hilo is an interesting town.  There's no getting around it¹.  Not only is it the rainiest city in the US², but it also features many other interesting items, such as:

• a sundial (interesting choice, because as it's the rainiest city, it's more often than not cloudy, which therefore means that no one knows what time it is - I have a photo, but who wants to see a photo of a non-functional sundial?)
• a clock (also interesting, as it's also broken and stands perpetually at 1:04 because that's when the 1960 tsunami hit....  We've got a problem keeping time here, it seems)

No one wants to see a broken sundial.

But everyone digs a broken clock.

At least it's right once in a while, yeah?

• It's home to Merrie Monarch, the International Hula Festival, which is unassailably cool.
• And lots of other things I'm sure I'll get around to telling you all about sometime, if I haven't told you about them already.

Now some of you might remember the tedious and long-winded explanation of not only ONE but TWO sets of Hilo Characters.

It's at this point I feel the need to tell you about a couple more.

The Mother of all Sum-Ups

Holy crap, it's been a month since I posted.  Ugh. *sigh* *chugs beer* *burp* *sighs again*  (I remember Leffe) *deep sigh*

Really though, to all of the faithful Cameronomiconistas Cameronomichronologists Cameronomists Cameronauts¹ readers out there, I'd like to apologize.  I should not have taken this long to write again.  But I realized this morning while driving back from town (with several buckets of slop rolling around in the back and my trusty potato rake riding shotgun) that the sheer bulk of what I'd like to write about is so intimidating that I just can't write about it.  I can't.  It's too much.  It'd be a book, and at this point, it would be a bad one that no one would read (except maybe those WonderBrains who green lit the Magic 8-ball movie... *sigh* *chugs another beer*). So instead, so I can get on with my normal evenings again, and can start writing about things that are happening now instead of in some inexact "then", I'm going to totally rock you with a sum-up.

ROCK! *throws adding machine in the creek*

(FYI: It's still going to be way to crazy long)

Million Dollar Idea #267

*lady with potato rake not included*

This is such a great idea, I had to get it down in writing in a public place, so when someone steals it, I can sue them for their millions of dollars.

So I was just talking on the phone with my pal Lufty, who was celebrating his new job (congrats again, sir), and was a little....um.....tipsy.  And that's understandable.  I was a little tipsy myself last night, celebrating my first paycheck at a new job.  It happens.  I guess we're both very employment oriented or something, and if that kinda of gusto means if we have to show up at the places of said employment a bit hungover, it's simply a sign of our dedication to work.  But all of this is neither here nor there.

Kermit Gone Wild!

"Say Hello to my little friend!"

Sorry, folks...  no long, drawn-out stories today.  Pretty uneventful up on the farm.  I thought about trying to make something up, but I think it would pale in comparison to the things that actually happen around here.

So instead I've decided to share with you another small aspect of life on the Big Island.  Namely, Coqui Frogs.

And the Worm Turns

Mmmmmmm......Gummy worms.....

I had a long day today.  I'm tired.  And although this incident has nothing to do with me being tired, or my day being long, I feel this is worth mentioning so you all are in the loop, or whatever.   Sure, as Regan says in the comments section of a previous post, I add links to my own posts.  But that's not for you constant readers who follow my every move like the stalkers that you are.  It's for the future stalkers who want to know not only what I'm up to now, but who also take the time to stalkishly read about what I was up to before.

And this is one of those times when it's good to know the backstory.  

SeaMop!!

SeaMop, ba duba dop, Ba SeaMop, ba duba dop, Ba SeaMop, ba duba dop, Ba du

Last weekend Ameena was here to visit, and on Monday of last week, we went snorkeling at Richardson. Ameena was finding all of the great stuff that day. There was a nice big honu that we swam along with for a while. That's alway cool. Them creatures are big. I also saw several reef fish I'd never seen there before. Of course, we didn't have the camera, so I have no idea what they were. I guess that'll teach me to start bringing the camera every time.

At one point Ameena called me over, and said there was something crawling across the sea floor. I figured it was a sea cucumber or something, but she said it was like a crazy starfish. So I dove down and got a good look at what she was talking about.

The White Flower, the White Devil, and the Black Ball of Fur

Settle in, ladies and gents.  This is going to be a long one.  Fair warning.

First of all, I apologize for not writing more sooner, but I've either been doing things that are not noteworthy enough to find a place on the blog, or too busy with said things to write properly about the few things that have been noteworthy enough to belong here.  But now I've got a nice empty evening with which to spend with you all.  And I'm happy for it.  I've been wanting to tell this story properly, and this is the first chance I have to really set it out straight.  So here goes.

Shaka...Shaka...

...SHAKA KHAN!

I officially started my new part-time job today at a charter school that's very culturally oriented.  That cultural exposure is one of the reasons I'm so excited about the job.  And I was kinda thinking that I'd share some of what I learn with you.  This may or may not be a regular thing, but it will be a recurring thing.  So on with the show!

Today's Lesson:

The Shaka

Knife-Wielding Salesman Revisited

This morning I woke up alive.  That was a good thing. In case you'd missed it, I'd had an interesting evening.

With my morning coffee, I walked up to the top of the drive through the drizzle, and noticed that there was no crime scene tape at any of the neighbors' houses, and there was no blood spattered on anyone's windows.  I gave myself a little pat on the back for a job well done, and went on about my day.

And then things took a bit of a twist.

Neighborhood Justice Team, UNITE!!!

Oh, how I wish I had the skills to present this in comic book form. Oh well.

Last night I was lounging in the yurt, drinking a beer and watching a movie. And yes, this is what passes for a quality Saturday night these days. Around 8:30, my phone rang. I checked the ID and it's Janice From Down the Road.  [I have to call her that because, very much to my amusement, every time she calls me up I answer "Hello?" and she invariably responds "Hi Cameron. It's Janice From Down the Road." One of these days I'll break down and tell her that not only do I know who it is from the caller ID, but that I think I only know two Janices in the world, and the other one doesn't know my phone number.]

"Hi Cameron. It's Janice From Down the Road. Look, I hate to bother you this late, but I thought I should call and give you a heads up."

Janice then told me about the ominous events unfolding within the neighborhood.

There's Gold in Them There Yurts

You remember that painting that Joie Webster made of the yurt?  Apparently my humble abode is even more inspiring than I had imagined.  My friend Sharon who lives up the road left me a voice-mail yesterday, and said she needed my email address because she had a picture she wanted to send me.  And it's great!

Blog Forecast

"Weather" you like it or not *rimshot*

I'm really feeling like I need to post something.  The last thing I want is to relapse back into not posting at all, and a gap of more than a week is a good start for something like that to happen.  So here I am, blathering away like a homeless person talking to a doorknob (no offence to my many many homeless readers).

100

Aye, it's true.  I've somehow managed to blab my way senselessly to my 100th post (that's C posts, for our ever-growing number of Roman readers).  A milestone such as this normally is honored with a retrospective, or something equally endearing, and perhaps a plaque or something forever memorializing this achievement.

That's not going to happen.

I had all kinds of ideas for this post, each seemingly dumber and more trite than the last.  Then I was going to do some highlights of the last year+, with lots of links and all, but that seemed a bit redundant. [Although, Jake, I did go back and read that story of the flight over. I'd forgotten how funny that was.  Thanks for the reminder.]


All of that aside, I've been thinking a lot today about the blog, and what it is, and what it means to me, and it really boils down to this:

I started this as a way to keep in touch with the people important to me, no matter where I am, and no matter where they are, and in a medium that's more accessible to a group than just emails, less constricting and busy than Facebook, and more interactive than a standard web page.  And given (or maybe in spite of ) the usually senseless content, lack of focus, and shallowness of meaning in my posts, I think this blog has exceeded all my expectations.

So to all of you who have been here since Post #1, and to those of you who got on this crazy ride at some other station, thanks.

Thanks for allowing me to share all of the times, through thick and thin, through the rain, rain, and more rain, through the times with crazy people, kind people, and innocent bystanders, through all of the photos, the dumb short updates, and the over-long tedious ramblings.

You, my favorite readers, are my people (and, as you know, so are gas station people, grocery store people, and moms).

And since this is sounding more and more like the world's worst wedding vows, I'll elect to stop.

But seriously.  Thank you.

It's Not All Flowers and Rainbows

These days I seem to be getting a lot of comments like "It must be so great living in Hawaii," and "You're so lucky to be living on the islands," and that sort of thing,  So with this post, I'm here to set the record straight that it is indeed not all flowers and rainbows here on the Big Island.  Here is a list of examples as to why, all having occurred just today:

¿Que?

(photo from Oddly Specific)

¡Hola Amigos!

Yes, I know you're all impressed with my Character Map copy and paste skills, but let's get down to brass tacks.

Cool Stuffs O' the InterTubes

Not much going on today, but I feel like I should put up a post.
And rather than create some long, rambling. nearly incoherent dissection of a typically mundane and otherwise insignificant moment, I'm just going to share some of the things I've found on the internet lately.

Roly-Poly and All That (Special Star Wars Interjection Edition)

Really wonderful idea. What an incredible smell you've discovered!

Today was an interesting experience on the farm.

Birds of a Feather....

....let Cameron take crappy photos of them, or whatever.
Isn't that how the saying goes?  Well, it's how it goes now.

Yesterday we took a trip over to Kona-side to run some errands and such, and on the way back, Kalewa spotted this, so I jumped out and tried to get some photos.

Ka-Tet May Become "Ka-Rap"

*This is where they killed my story.*

Oh my goodness.  Say it's not so.....  I haven't even had my morning coffee yet, and here's what I wake up to.  Ugh.

First Time for Everything

I've had a lot of "firsts" since moving here, including:
-being under a hurricane warning
-waking up to air-raid sirens because a tsunami is on its way
-choking on volcanic fog
-watching whales breach

Now I know these (and most other) examples are because any of those events would be geographically, meteorologically, or geologically improbable or impossible in Colorado.

But the other day, something happened that could have happened in Colorado (although I would have considered it very bizarre), but happened here instead:

The Post, His Postness, or El Postarino (if you're not into the whole brevity thing)

How could I not post this?



Got this from Big Lebowski Mashups  (Mostly NSFW)
The Dude Vader one really starts strong and then kinda craps out, but it's good.  Most of them have some entertainment value (assuming your standards are as low as mine).

Lesson learned: You can set pretty much anything to the theme music of MacGyver and/or Magnum P.I. and I'll find it entertaining.

Music, Pyschology, and Chocolate

See the connection?

Read more here!

Side Swiped!!

Hey Everyone. I just realized that although I'd written this on my iPod last week, it got saved as a draft and then never published. Sorry for the delay.


With the advent of the new pineapple just around the corner, so many old traditions are being rekindled after being forgotton with the end of the last season:
•regular self-surgery to remove troublesome spines lodged in the skin after weeding and harvest
•semi-permanent rust colored fingernails and knees from planting keiki in the soil
•constant discussion over the morning coffee about where, how, and when to plant the next bay
•the weekly (progressing to daily) walks through the bays looking for ripe pineapples

And, of course, it also features the return one of one of my favorite aspects of the growing season - swipe!

Possibly the Coolest T-Shirt Ever

Somehow, I think Paul's the only guy I know who could wear this shirt to its fullest potential.

For more cool zombie stuff, check out http://www.noupe.com/inspiration/zombie-inspiration-50-awesome-artworks.html

Cameronographie

Hey everyone.  I warned you it was pending, and here it is.  I've started a new blog for all of the artsy photos I take, in hopes that it'll be a nice forum for rich people to order prints from me.

It's still in progress, and over the next few weeks I'll be adding the photos I've already taken.  But it's a much cleaner, simpler, more basic layout, and there's not much there apart from the photos.  I'll let you know as the site progresses, but at this point there's not much reason to go other than to just check out the idea (and I'm very open to suggestions, if you've got any).

Anyway, here it is: Cameronographie

I've added the link over there on the right, so you can see the most recent update.

Cheers.

The Power of Bacon

Last week I got an email from Jennifer, sharing with me this wonderful item: Bacon-Flavored Vodka.
No kidding.

The very next day, I saw this on Failblog:

Mmmmmm.....  it even smells like bacon!
Well that got me thinking about what other bacon products are out there.