Yep.
Well, it was only a matter of time.
This ad is totally about me.
I mean, sure, it's taken years of constantly checking the Craigslist "Missed Connections" page wherever I am, but it was worth it.
I know it was me because:
- I was at a health food store in Hilo last week.
- I came out of said health food store.
- I always look around when I leave health food stores. You know, just to make sure there are no zombies.
I mean, who else could she be talking about? Granted, it's a bit odd that she didn't add "You looked so strong carrying those buckets of green waste" but to be fair I'm sure she didn't know what was in the buckets, and therefore decided to just omit that part. Also, there's nothing hot about buckets.
You might be inclined to say, "But Cameron, there are three health food stores in Hilo, and you only collect green waste at two of them, and even with those favorable odds, there have got to be thousands of people walking out of said stores in one week AND there's the whole bucket thing."
To which I might promptly reply, "Shut up and let me have this or I'll get the potato rake."
Posts
Ha! "u were hot"!
ReplyDeleteSo when's the post on your response?
I figure I'll wait a week, and then respond with a new thread that says "To the woman who wrote about me last week - I thought you were hot too." thus being also as general, and then I'll just watch the emails roll in and not respond to any of them.
ReplyDeleteit must have been that day that you wore those super short shorts w/ your ass hanging out and that one shirt that shows off all your cleavage - - you weren't running with buckets of slop by any chance were you? Way to give'em pause Cameron! Jen
ReplyDeletePlease, 'favorable odds?' This coming from a guy that can't WAIT to play Let It Ride? 96% payout? Hell, slots pay better.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you about 'favorable odds.' If this mystery "person" was a FEMALE, don't you think she might be a little more specific with the details? Guys just think about "hot." Women thing about the time of day, the smell of the pollen and the children playing in the background. Dude, you may have been mac'ed on by the same sex (not that there is anything wrong with that..)
Please connect with this person, please...
I was just amazed at her/his literary SKILLZ. Pure poetry flowing out of that pen...er, keyboard.
ReplyDelete@Jen - "you weren't running with buckets of slop by any chance were you?" Yes, in fact I was... IN SLOW MOTION! I always do that. It adds to the dramatic value of an otherwise unheralded job.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately the post also states....
ReplyDelete•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.
Darn... well better luck next time.