Cameron Walter, Surf Machine

Well, I've finally gone and done it. It only took one year, two weeks, and four days to make it happen, but I finally went surfing.

Learning to surf has been on my list of things to do in my lifetime (everytime I tell anyone this, they look at someone else knowingly and quietly say "Bucket list," so I'm saving you the trouble). The trick for me here in making this become reality has been two-fold: getting my hands on a board to use, and finding someone willing to provide a bit of instruction.



Kalewa grew up bodysurfing on Oahu, and as such has no interest in learning to surf on a long board. He kindly met me halfway last summer when we picked up some body boards, and we've had a fantastic time using those. Then Kaleo got a board as well, and now we go as often as we can.

On St. Patrick's Day, I had my neighbor Gordie over for some corned beef and cabbage, and he said he was going surfing the next morning, and that if I wanted to come along, he had an extra board and he'd be willing to teach me. I told him 5:30am was maybe going to be a problem on the day after St. Paddy's Day (I hadn't bought those Guinness to just look at, you know), and sure enough, it was. But the following Saturday I saw him, and we decided to go out at dawn on Sunday.

Gordie's spare board looks like it was made in 1949 out of wreckage salvaged from an old WWII reconnaissance glider all pasted together with fabric mesh and rubber cement and then dipped in paraffin and it weighs about 60 pounds. But, due to its sturdiness, and the fact that it has a stringer about an inch wide (whatever that means), it was the envy of every surfer put there over the age of 30.

In the predawn gloom, I picked up Gordie, we loaded up the boards, and we went to Honoli'i. Going out at sunrise was a great idea, not only as a great way to start the day, but also because there were not a lot of people out.

Once we hit the water, it was clear that I was a natural.....

......at stinking the place up.

I can claim the title of "Surf Machine" because if you'd stuck a washing machine out there with a surf board, it'd have done about as well (if not better) than I did. :)

While the physics is very similar to bodyboarding, the balance of the board is quite different. I realize that the fact that the other surfers out there make it look effortless is due to lots and lots of practice, but still.... At times I felt a bit like I was holding on to a log that kept wanting to roll over.

I could (and will) make a lot of excuses (was too far outside, was in the way of real surfers, was only out for about an hour, had my shorts on backwards, my horoscope said it was a bad day for surfing, my mind was on other things, I ate less than half an hour before going in, I hadn't had my morning coffee, the dollar had fallen in international markets, my spidey-sense was tingling, I lost a contact, my wi-fi was acting up, the waves were either too big or too small, my trick knee was acting up, I saw the Loch Ness monster, AND I may have been pregnant), but really all I need is to head back out and try again.

They say practice makes perfect, but in this case I'm just hoping it makes me a little less terrible.