A Much Needed Update (<---complete with author commentary)

Hello Everyone. (<--- optimism that people are still reading)

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to tell you about.

First and foremost (<----I've always found that saying redundant and redundant), the blog has had a noticeable effect on the world. Apparently Bosslady (aka Kaleo) has shared my blog with some of her friends, and, thanks to the Current Cast of Characters post, some of her friends have also started calling her "Bosslady." I could just smile and enjoy the moment and leave it at that, but no.... I'm knocking it up a notch (<---BAM! Spice Weasel!). So for the next week, I'm offering my nicknaming services to the general public, for a modest fee, of course. If you find yourself requiring a new and exciting appellation, or would just like a new lease on life, contact me by following this link.

Now, on to other business. I am proud to report that I now have BOTH power and internet access in the yurt. In fact, this is the first ever YurtBlog! Everyone take your drink in hand, raise it into the air, and give a loud yurtish holler of joy in your general Hawaiian direction. (<---for those of you in Hilo, just look up the hill) So I've got music, movies, and computers. It's great. AND we've got the solar panels running, and recharging the batteries throughout the day. Soon, when the hydropower system all comes together, we'll have more power than we know what to do with (<----we know what to do with it....we'll be turning one of the pools in the stream into a hot tub......sweeeeeeeeet). But for now, I'm really happy with what I've got, and all is well in Yurtonia (<---or is it Yurtlandia? I forget). I've also picked up a comfy futon for visitors, and some end tables and a coffee table (<---that I've never put coffee on), all of which were acquired from Chris, the same guy I bought my car from.

Speaking of visitors, THEMatt came out to visit for a little over a week. What a good time we had. Fantastico. We did the usual local tourist stuff, including, but not limited to: Akaka Falls, Kolekole State Park, Carlsmith Beach Park, Bayfront shopping. We also went to the lava flows near Kalapana with Kalewa and Kaleo one day, but they've changed their hours so they're only open between five and ten PM, and even then it's depending on the weather, since they don't like to let people breathe the volcanic gases. Something about long painful death and blaming the government. To be honest, I didn't really read the sign.

But while we were there, we ran into this guy who was picking noni along the flows. Noni is this plant that's said to have all sorts of medicinal uses, and it grows all over the place in that area. If you need more info, check out this link. (<---I know it's sure benefited me in my fight against my ailment of balanced nutrition.......ugh, I wish people would actually read the crap they put online (myself included)). The guy picking the noni needed a jumpstart, as his battery was dead (<---apparently noni doesn't help fight against that particular ailment). After helping the guy start his car, we headed back along the entrance road and decided to collect some noni for ourselves. The stuff literally grows right off the side of the road. It was funny, as Kaleo (<---- I mean, Bosslady) was really worried that the noni picker guy was going to drive by and get really angry at us for taking from his crop, even though it was on public ground (<---it's not like we were stealing coconuts from a golf course or something). I figured that if he did stop and yell at us, or try to pick a fight or something, one of us would just have to run over and turn off his car, as he'd be stranded. Lucky for us, though, he didn't stop, nor did he even give us a nasty look. After that, since it was a beautiful day, we proceeded to one of the black sand beaches around Kalapana.

(photo courtesy of Matt)

The waves were not huge, but they broke close enough to shore and far enough out over the rocks to be present a bit of trickiness. Since I've been out here, I've picked up bodyboarding (<---I'm still not very good at it), but this was my first attempt at bodysurfing. Crazy fun, I tell you. Crazy fun. After that, we went and had Mexican food in Pahoa, and a nice little place where the first basket of chips and salsa is free, but the next one is $4. We asked, since there were four of us, if we could get another free basket, but we were told that they only give a second basket to groups of five or more (<---unless there are five of you, then it's only for parties of six or more).

The next day we went to Waimea to participate in a free gardening clinic. After that, we followed the highway west to Hapuna Beach. This is your typical beach most people think of when they think of beaches. White sand that goes out forever, blue-green water, and tons of sun.

(photo courtesy of Matt)

The waves there were small, but it was nice to get into some water where you didn't have to worry about scraping your legs or feet on the way in or out. We spent a few hours there, basking a bit, trying the bodyboards out on the smallest possible waves. As we were leaving, we decided that we should be embarrassed that we even called them waves (or, to paraphrase Kalewa, we should have been dragged into a back alley and beaten to within an inch of our lives by a buttload of ninja spider monkeys who were all hopped up on Mountain Dew and were wielding power tools and packages of uncooked bacon).

On the way back, we stopped in Waimea for some frosty beverages and ice cream sandwiches and pretzels and cheddar jalapeno cheesy poofs. While waiting in the car for K&K to complete their purchase, Matt and I met this guy in the parking lot. OK.....maybe "met" is an overstatement. Here's how it went:

Cameron: Mmmm..... ice cream sandwich.....
Voice from somewhere outside of the car: 72 or 73?
Cameron: MMMmmmMmmmmmphhogfdhfohgfdosidfjgio (dribble)
Voice from right next to the car: Is this a 72 or 73?
Cameron: Oh, sorry... I didn't know you were talking to me. It's a 73.
Portly Man: Ah. I approve. (walks into the store without another word)

So once K&K were back in the car, we found that my car didn't care to leave the parking lot just then. In fact, she preferred to not start at all. We tried everything: pumping the gas pedal, pulling the choke, rolling the windows up and down, offering an ice cream sandwich sacrifice to the gods in the carburetor. Nothing worked. Then the Portly Man came back out of the store.

Portly Man: Trouble starting?
Cameron: Yep. She's acting up. But she does this sometimes. I just need to get her to accept this burnt offering of cheesy poofs, and I'm sure that'll do it.
Portly Man: Well, I am a certified mechanic, so I suppose I could take a look at it.

We try and start it again.

Portly Man: Sounds like your battery cable is loose. Pop the hood and take a look.

Sure enough, the stupid cable is loose. (<--- I've since concluded that everything in that car is loose, unless I myself have tightened it, and even then it's a 50/50 shot).

Of course I don't have the necessary tools to tighten the battery cable, and neither does Portly Mechanic Man, as he's been living out of his Geo Metro for a week, as he's working on this side of the island, and lives on the other side of the island, and no longer does car mechanic work for a living. But Kalewa gets her started, and we say thanks to the Portly Mechanic Man, and head out, making sure to keep the car running whenever we have to stop for traffic and such.

I still think that guy was trying to pull some scam where he goes around loosening random battery cables and then fixes them, in hopes of getting a tip, or at least an Ice cream sandwich. I mean, who can hear a loose battery cable? Especially in the midst of all of that other loose stuff rattling around?

But we made it home in once piece, and I promptly fixed the loose battery cable.



Matt and I also went up to Volcano National Park for an afternoon. What an event. While we were there, the volcano erupted, and the Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche saved Los Angeles, after which Pierce Brosnan saved a widow and her children from first a cloud of ash, and then a barrage of spindle bombs, and then drove his truck over molten lava, popping the tires, but still getting away somehow.

Ok, none of that happened. But it could have.

No, our visit was far more entertaining than either of those movies. In fact, the uneventful, almost boring car ride up to the part was more entertaining than those movies. First, the park ranger at the gate said she liked my car.

Then we went to the information center, which really didn't offer us too much information, but I'm still not convinced that we were using it correctly.

From there we went to Kilauea Iki (meaning "Little Kilauea"). There's a nice overlook that looks down into the crater that was formed in 1959. We saw a guy walking along a trail on the bottom of the crater. It started to rain.

From there, we went to the Thurston (Howell III) Lava Tube. I'd never been to this before, but I really enjoyed it for the most part. Well, it's very interesting on it's own, and it's kind of a unique place, but the tourist there are thick (<---take that to mean whatever you want, and you'd be correct). We started walking along the descending path, encountering a couple of people here and there, and skirting by them. I figured since there were no signs about anything, I should share what little I know about the things around me with Matt. So I see a flower in a tree, and I explain to him that it's called "ohia lehua" and that there's a legend that when those flowers are picked, it causes it to rain. We continue down the overgrown path, and can soon hear a person call his tour group to attention in Japanese, and then start telling them about something.

Tour Guide: (insert Japanese dialog here) "ohia lehua" (more dialog)
Cameron: Did you hear that? That tour guide back there was just telling his group about the flower I just showed you.
Matt: Huh....
Cameron: Anyway, this tree here... You've seen that we have these on the property, right?
Matt: Yep.
Cameron: They're called "Hapu'u". I don't know a whole lot about them, actually.
Matt: Right on. (continues walking down the path)
Tour Guide: (insert Japanese dialog here) "hapu'u" (more dialog)
Cameron: Holy crap!
Matt: Ha ha ha I heard it too!
Cameron: That guy's totally stealing my gig! I should get a share of his pay! OK.... let's try this... The Thurston Lava Tube was named after Thurston Howell the Third because he and hius wife "Lovey" discovered it in Season Two while looking for Gilligan, who was lost, and they thought it was a way off of the island, but it turned out there was a witchdoctor who lived in it, and then the witchdoctor used the tunnel to get off of the island, but Gilligan accidentally set off an explosive that the Professor had built for Ginger and MaryAnne and it closed the tunnel for good. (walks and listens attentively)

Tour Guide: (insert Japanese dialog here) (and more dialog) (and more dialog)

Cameron: Dang.... I didn't catch anything there
Matt: Um..... I think you may have been too specific.
Cameron: Maybe so....

After the tube, which was very cool, we were walking up the path and spotted a bird. It was on the ground just off of the path, and was all but fearless. I took one qick picture of it, and then started leaning in and adjusting my camera for a better, closer shot. And then it happened. The Japanese Tourist Hoarde was upon us! For a moment there, it felt as if the Japanese was invading again. The bird (<---which I'm sure was an 'Apapane) took off before I could get the shot, in such a flustered hurry that it nearly flew right into the face of a woman with the group.

Now, as loud and large as the groups are, I've got to hand it to the Japanese tourist in general. They seem to be inquisitive, almost to a fault, looking to see and learn everything they can while on their trip. Or maybe they were just on the tour bus too long.

When Matt and I stepped aside to let them pass, I decided, as I often do, to take some random pictures of the foliage in the area. I found a nice rain-covered plant, and bent down to take the shot. Within moments, I had several people gathered around me, hunched over to see what I was taking a picture of.

Later, to test the theory, Matt stopped to take a picture of the sign that pointed the direction to the nearest bathroom, and even drew a little attention with that.

Getting back to the car, we saw a guy walking out of the brush along a trail that looked like it led to the crater. I asked if he'd just hiked the bottom, and he nodded. I asked him how it was, and he said "Longer climbing up." and then he walked off. Matt is still convinced that he hauled a body down to throw into a vent, and now he had to decide what he was going to do with us, the "witnesses."

From there we headed to the steam vents. When it rains, the water drips through cracks in the rock to where it's still hot in the volcano, and steam comes out. There we met a freaky lady who looked like she'd been standing in front of the vents for about 3 years, and who approaced us to tell us how great and amazing it was. We quickly left her general area. Later I saw her chatting up a tourist couple, and posing for pictures and such. I think she was the volcano equivalent of one of those people who dress up like a statue and hang out outside of museums.

On the way back the the car, I got stopped by a park ranger.
Cameron: Oh great.... Well, this isn't the first National Park I've been kicked out of.....
Ranger: Afternoon.
Cameron: Howdy.
Ranger: What year's your Beamer?
Cameron: *sigh* It's a 73.

From there we had a 10 minute converstation about engines, old cars, and the rarity of old BMW's on the big island.

After that, we went to the main Kilauea crater, but the fog and rain was starting to roll in, and there wasn't much to see. Then we went down to the lava fields, and checked that out. All in all, it was a really good time.

The one other place we visited was Kealakekua, which is a great snorkeling place, and I'm going to put that in a different post, since I feel this one's getting pretty long already.