Knife-Wielding Salesman Revisited

This morning I woke up alive.  That was a good thing. In case you'd missed it, I'd had an interesting evening.

With my morning coffee, I walked up to the top of the drive through the drizzle, and noticed that there was no crime scene tape at any of the neighbors' houses, and there was no blood spattered on anyone's windows.  I gave myself a little pat on the back for a job well done, and went on about my day.

And then things took a bit of a twist.


I saw the guy.

I was in town running errands in the truck.  On the way out of town, there's a kind of quick right then quick left turn to get onto Kaiwiki.  And as I was making the left, there he was!!!

Oddly, my first thought was "I need to get a picture!"  But of course I couldn't exactly stop and ask the guy for a photo.  So I pulled out my cell-phone and navigated to the camera menu, lined up the shot....and then he turned around!  My blood turned to ice water in my veins (well, as close to ice water as it can get in 80° and 95% humidity weather...which is kinda like lukewarm tap water, but whatever).  He was carrying a very menacing looking umbrella. I was amazed at how normal he looked.  His skills in urban camouflage are impressive, to say the least.  He looked like a normal guy.  But I knew better.

I reached for my potato rake. NO! I left it at home!!!! Stupid stupid stupid!

A quick inventory ran through my mind.  All I had to defend myself with were two mostly empty tubes of sunscreen, a bic pen, and several buckets of scraps destined for my compost pile.  The buckets might have been helpful, but I could never reach them in time.  Everything else: worthless.

So I played it cool....just acted like I didn't see him at all, and continued to drive normally.  And then I remembered my phone.  I quickly turned the lens to point behind me through the back window and snapped the photo over my shoulder.

The results are chilling.

Don't see it?  Look closer:

Here....Let me zoom in.

Incredible, I know.

As you can make out from this photo, our neighborhood stalker was wearing a blue shirt, and appears to be angry at my escape.  We can also conclude from his keen ability to stay out of focus in photos, that he is at least one-half sasquatch.

After lunch, Janice called.  I smiled, knowing the next two lines of conversation.
Cameron: "Hello?"
Janice: "Hi Cameron. It's Janice."
[awkward pause]
Janice: "Are you there? Can you hear me?"
Cameron: "*sigh* Yeah, I'm here.  What's up?"

I guess this proves that my blog is working on the quantum level, changing outcomes by the mere act of observation.  At any rate, Janice informed me that she'd talked to some other neighbors who had seen the guy today, and that he's a stand-up kinda guy; just a college student trying to make a few extra bucks.  It seems that the same network that provides some security up here is also quite the rumor mill, and stories change and exaggerate as they move up and down the hill.

That's all well and good, and has set the locals at ease....  but we know better, don't we?  So we'll just let everyone go on about their normal lives, and we'll just wait.  That blade-bearing big-foot is bound to blunder. That sinister salesman sasquatch will surely slip sometime.  And we'll be waiting here, the two of us:

Me and my potato rake.